Blissfully Delusional

People are always harping on how tomorrow (or today) is a "new day". Isn't it always a new day? I'm taking on a rather pessimistic point of view, but in the long run I'm hoping it'll save me a lot of disappointment. Please, let it be worth it. Please.

What small act of kindness have you done in the last thirty days? 
Submitted by One Kind Act.  

I'm constantly opening doors for people. Especially mothers with children and elderly people. For the most part I'd like to think it's out of the goodness of my heart, but it's always much appreciated when people actually take a moment to turn around, look me in the eye, and say a quick "thank you". I mean. A little gratitude and recognition can go a long way.

What are three things you want to learn, and three things you can teach others to do? 
Submitted by bookishbiker.

Three Things I Want To Learn:

1. I want to learn how to manage money better. I'm not too bad, but I still have a few weaknesses that I simply can't resist.

2. I want to learn to be a worldly and well-rounded dancer. I have a passion for dancing, though I haven't received any formal training. Ballroom, Hula, break dancing, Latin - it's all beautiful.

3. I want to learn how to drive a stick-shift. If you can drive a standard transmission, you can drive anything.

Three Things I Can Teach Others To Do:

1. I can teach others to be more tolerant and accepting. If not to have them change their ways, so they can see what it looks like.

2. I can teach others to express themselves through some form of art. It can be collage, written word, painting, drawing, jewelry-making, whatever. Art is a powerful thing, both to observe and create.

3. I can teach others what it is to love unconditionally. How to love even when it hurts.

With most of the people I would consider "friends" I find myself bathing in irony. Perhaps it's because I'm hard to reach, myself, but I find that when I finally have a moment to myself, they immediately become unreachable. It must be fate, or just my crappy karma. I'm always up for making new connections and forging friendships with people, but a lot of times it leads to disappointment, heartache, and in the end, a numbness that I'm hard-pressed to get rid of.

I've recently found someone that I can lean on. Someone who would hand the world to me on a silver platter if he could, and he's opened my eyes to a lot of things. He's single-handedly raised the bar of expectations that I set for other people. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad, but the fact of the matter is that it's there. That high standard that's continuously weeding out people in my life that I once thought were important. Though now that I think about it, can I really say it's all him? I'm not so sure. I've been feeling this gradual shift in my psyche where I'm much more comfortable being alone than I was before. I'm not scared to just spend time by myself and write, or read, or whatever. In fact, 7 out of 10 times I find it to be very comforting. Does that make me a hermit? Man, turning 20 is really messing me up.

Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls

That doesn't even begin to describe it. I haven't been so emotionally worn out it a long time. Hopelessness is setting in, and I'm hard pressed to fight it.

What's one of your favorite quotes? 
Submitted by Georgie-boy. 

 For those with wings, fly to your dreams.

If only we were all born with wings.

Tonight's moon was fantastic, as was last night's. It's silly how something so simple can be utterly awe-inspiring. At the moment I find myself wrapped in a fragile bubble of content. Frankly, I'm terrified. I'm here, listening to the magnificent Colbie Caillat, trying not to do anything in particular. If only I could freeze this moment in time so that this same song would play forever. Shawn would always be laying in my lap, rubbing his cheek against my knee, and smiling up at me with his apple cheeks. Jay Leno would be giving his monologue, which I'm not really sure I find amusing, but I could care less. The ceiling fan would always be blowing just the right amount of air to keep the room feeling fresh, but not cold. Right now, with a belly full of green tea with honey and lemon, I've found a moment's peace. If only if would last.

Colbie Caillat - The Little Things

This song...it's magical. Give it a try, I dare you.

Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye

Silversun Pickups

When I was a little girl I made a conscious decision to keep a diary. Eventually diaries turned into blogs and I lost the will to keep up with it. I tried to blame it on being lazy, but if I really think about it, it's because at this particular moment in time I don't find anything about my life worth writing about. Nothing is extraordinarily exciting that stands out from every other little occurance on a day-to-day basis. I've been stagnant for quite some time, but it's not something I'm happy about.

It's extremely hard for me to function without a long term goal in mind. I've always had one. For now I can only look forward to perfunctory tasks that allow me to make it to the end of the day. I watch the clock, the calendar, like something special should be happening soon, and all for naught. It's just another reason to tick away time until something comes my way. For now, I just need to wait until time takes me where I want to go - working hard, yet going nowhere.

I feel so stale.

Naomi

Who'd have thought something as small and impersonal as this could make me happy?

For the most part I have not questioned the big decisions I've made in life. What's done is done and in many cases, there is no going back. I choose to remember that fact and face the challenges in my life head-on. But one thing I do wonder about is why, in matters of life and love, am I always the one to make the most sacrifices? Why is it that I let these things come to be? I feel like a crutch for those I care for, and it pains me to see them using me. It's not everyone, but there are people that I consider to be very important parts of my life...they choose to do this.

...and I choose to let them.

I find that the thought of such a loss as a friend or lover is absolutely terrifying. I'm such a hermit, but I hate to be alone. It's one thing that I fear with the very marrow of my bones.